Well-Being Model

This week (March 20, 2024) I surpassed 55 lbs shed (I prefer the word shed to lost. I don’t intend on ever finding them again. 😊)
I created this graphic as a way of communicating how it is that I’ve done this thing which I struggled with my whole adult life, until now. This model captures the main learnings I had from my coach, Oli Mansfield, along the way and how I see them coming together.
Today I’ll provide an overview of the components of the model, and then over the coming days, I’ll share how each component has been playing out for me.
At the center of the model is a heart and its red color encircles or encloses the entire model. At first glance, you might think this is representative of the heart or heart health and that would be logical, but that’s not it. The heart represents love. More specifically, self-love. One of the many insights I’ve had is that I love myself. Not my body, or my style, or my mind or my personality, but the real me. My true self, who I really am on the inside. What I’ve realized is that many of my behaviors, particularly my diet and lack of exercise, were not aligned with loving myself. Quite the opposite actually. Things I used to think of as treats, as rewards, as being deserved, I now see as small incremental doses of poison that were compounding to destroy my physical health. How can something that’s harmful to me be a treat? More on this in a few days when I talk about food and nutrition.
Self-love is the core, and simultaneously it’s the whole that encompasses and makes everything else possible.

1. Thought, state of mind.

“What the thinker thinks, the prover proves.” ~ Robert Anton Wilson

“Thought is not reality; yet it is through Thought that our realities are created.” ~ Sydney Banks

You see, we each live in our own reality. I was living in a reality that I was over 50, on the decline and I was suffering from a knee problem that despite lots of treatment and rest wasn’t getting better. My best days were behind me, and I didn’t have hope for ever regaining my physical fitness. I retired from playing men’s league hockey just before my 50th birthday. I couldn’t take my dog for walks, and things were looking bleak from a physical fitness perspective. Oddly enough, mentally I was thriving. I’ve spent a few years emersed in coach training and have had many insights that have made life fun, full of joy and happiness (notwithstanding my knee problem).
Everything changed when Oli Mansfield offered to jump on a call with me. I’d made a comment about my knee on a coach course call, that I had been referred to a surgeon. Oli’s radar went off and he knew he had to intervene before I went down the road to surgery and drastic measures.
Our first call is where he introduced me to the identity of someone who had paid me many visits, the pain doctor. Oli explained that the pain doctor has been trying to tell me something very important and the more I didn’t listen, the more he turned up the pain to get my attention. Well, the pain doctor had my attention, and so did Oli.

Over the first several calls with Oli he educated me on the body, it’s systems and how they relate to food and our environment, but most importantly he pointed me upstream. He connected me to my true self and to a vision for how I wanted my life to be. A vision that centered around being happy, healthy and vibrant in a way that I would be able to play with my future grand kids. I mean really play. Run, jump, chase. Pick them up and swing them around. I saw that this is what I want, and I saw that I could have it. I could make this my reality. I could scrap my woeful over 50 bullshit and leverage my capacity for insight, realization, resilience and well-being and be a physical embodiment of my true self.

That folks, is Thought and state of mind.

2. Nutrition, food, timing.

I remember talking to my coach, Oli, and him talking about intermittent fasting and saying the breakfast is when you “break the fast”. I was like “holy sh*t!”. I’ve never actually thought of breakfast in this way. It honestly never occurred to me that this word was actually these two words together, break & fast. Wow! How did I not know this? I’m still kind of stunned.

I implemented a new rule or routine by which I don’t eat after 7:00/7:30pm until the next morning between 7:00-8:00am. I get between 12-13 hours of fasting each night. I thought this was going to be nearly impossible. I’ve been a bedtime snacker my whole life and on nights when I couldn’t sleep, the perfect solution was a bowl of cereal and a big glass of cold milk. Then on a full belly, I could get back to sleep. It turned out this wasn’t that hard to implement. Like most other things I’ve implemented, my past behaviours no longer made sense to me because of my insights (see my post about 1. Thought, state of mind and Self-love.). Because bedtime snacks and middle of the night snacks no longer make sense, I don’t crave them and simply put I don’t have them.

How many times have you heard: “breakfast is the most important meal of the day?” Maybe thousands? Me too. But I never heeded that advice. Most days I’d drink a tea and either not eat or load up on carbs like toast or waffles. Not anymore. Now, I eat a high protein breakfast every morning. I break the fast with things I love, like bacon or breakfast sausages.
I have a tea with 1% milk (no sugar), a glass of cold water (filtered) and a daily vitamin.

I stopped eating gluten almost entirely. I buy gluten free flour and make my own homemade waffles which I don’t include the sugar and salt the recipe calls for. They’re salt free, sugar free and gluten free.

I stopped eating fast food.
I stopped drinking soda pop.
I stopped drinking beer.
I stopped eating chocolate, donuts, potato chips, crackers, cookies etc.

This past Halloween I didn’t eat one piece of candy. Not one. That’s the first time in my life since I had teeth. It wasn’t even hard to do. I walked past the treat basket every day and it just doesn’t make sense for me to eat it. No temptation, no fighting with myself. Just not interested.

At Christmas I asked my family and extended family not to give me any sweets. I normally would get at least 2 or 3 Terry’s chocolate oranges (my former favorite treat). This year I had none. Not even one taste, and I didn’t miss it.
Recently I went to an evening wedding that started at 8:00pm. I drank tea and water. I didn’t eat (fasting), and I didn’t drink alcohol. I still had a great time.

I generally eat every couple hours to stay satiated so that I never really feel hungry. For dinner I eat mostly protein (ground beef, chicken, steak) and I don’t eat after 7:00/7:30pm.
It’s kind of a boring diet, but it’s easy and it’s working for me, and best of all I’m enjoying it.

I do try to eat at least 1 fruit and 1 vegetable every day. I’m nearly 100% on the fruit, probably less than 50% on the vegetables. But that’s ok. I don’t judge myself or beat myself up. I just do what makes sense each day.

There’s plenty of room for me to improve in the eating department but the main thing is that I follow the structure and routine of it, and it works for me.

3. Exercise, movement, physical activity.

Back in September when my knee was at its worst, I couldn’t walk very much and when I did it was painful. There I was just over a month away from my 51st birthday and I was falling apart. At least that’s the story that was going through my head. Generally speaking, I’d always had belief that any pain I was experiencing was a sign to stop and rest. That is until my coach Oliver Mansfield came along. He immediately put me on stretching programs and encouraged me to go at my own pace, listen to my body, and stressed the importance of proper techniques, posture and alignment. These early days were a reminder of how far I’d let myself go. Touching my toes seemed like a distant dream, and when I watched the demo videos of the exercises and stretches, I wondered how my body and theirs could be of the same species. I simply couldn’t move and bend like that. Over time and with commitment and perseverance, and motivation from Oli, I did my exercises and stretches and almost immediately got benefits. I started dropping weight, my toes were getting closer and closer to me being able to touch them, and I was regaining strength and mobility I hadn’t experienced in years. Now, after six months I’m feeling great. There are days when I walk more than 17,000 steps. I’m doing 8km walks with virtually no pain or discomfort in my knee.
For most of my life, even when I was young and fit and played lots of sports, stretching was never my thing. I didn’t like it and didn’t find it fun or useful. Now, all these years later, I’m a big fan. I enjoy stretching. Even the uncomfortable ones like 90/90 hips stretches. I clearly see the benefits and incremental progress that can be made by sticking with the program and treating stretching like brushing my teeth. I don’t think much about it, I just do it.

Oli has me doing things I never would have done on my own. Things like exercises and stretches with the Swiss Ball (Yoga Ball), walking backwards (this has made a huge difference for my knee), and taking cold baths. My wife gave me a portable cold tub for my birthday in October and I’ve been using it 2-3 times a week, usually right after a workout. 15 minutes in the cold bath and I’m refreshed, clear headed and very cold. Between working out, stretching and cold baths, my body is now faced with many varying challenges and its responding. As human beings we are “Anti-fragile” (a term used by author Nassim Taleb, and often quoted by my mentor Jamie Smart.). Our bodies respond by getting stronger the more it’s pushed. Knowing that my knee can handle what I’m putting it through, and that I will recover, rebuild, regenerate. I can be bigger, stronger, faster and more flexible into my 50’s than I’ve been in decades. It brings to mind the old adage, “if I can do it, anyone can!”

4. Hydration.

This aspect of my well-being is so simple it’s surprising (not really) that I avoided it most of my life. I never really liked drinking water and always prefered milk. Since I was a little kid, I’ve loved drinking milk. For me, there was nothing better than a big glass of cold milk. If I wasn’t drinking milk, I was drinking coke or root beer. One of the first things Oliver Mansfield asked me was if I drank water and if it was filtered. I’d never really thought much of filtered water and didn't mind drinking tap water. Oli explained that one of the things we were going to work on was de-toxifying my body and one simple way of supporting this process was to drink filtered water. 24 hours later, Amazon dropped off my Zero-Water dispenser and filters and there’s been no looking back.

Now my daily intake is 4-5 glasses of filtered water and a few cups of tea (Orange Pekoe, with 1% milk, no sugar). I no longer drink 3-4 glasses of milk a day. I don’t drink 3-5 cans of cola or root beer a day. In fact, since September I’ve only had 3 root beers while eating out at restaurants.
I’ve also stopped drinking alcohol. I had a beer on December 23rd. That’s the only alcohol I’ve had since this journey started. I haven’t been much of a drinker in many years, but I was an occasional beer drinker, especially when watching sports. Now, it doesn’t appeal to me. I’m not fighting back the desire to have beer or having to convince myself its best not to indulge. I just don’t think about it and if asked, I just politely decline without a once of interest or regret. It just doesn’t make sense to me anymore.

This is probably the most “hydrated” I’ve ever been in my life and I feel great!

5. Breathing.

A huge change I’ve made to my bedtime routine is that I do a guided breathing exercise every night before I go to bed. I do some light stretching, mostly neck, back and quads, then I lie down and listen to Wim Hoff, on YouTube, and do a guided breathing exercise. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out etc, then hold your breath for 1 min. Round 2, 1minute 30 seconds hold, and finally round 3, 1 minute 30 seconds hold. The first time I did this I could barely last for 20 seconds. I’d feel my body temperature drop significantly. It was weird but I stuck with it. I’ve done this every night for the last 5 months. Even when I’m up late at an event like a wedding or hockey game. I still do my stretches and my breathing before I go to bed. I don’t think about it, or have to convince myself to do it. It’s part of my routine, part of my structure, so I just do it. I’m falling asleep faster than I ever have and sleeping better than I ever have (well at least the last 15 years or so 😊).

I never thought this sort of thing would be for me, but it is. I enjoy it and I feel like I get lots of benefits from it. Wim Hoff has won me over. (thanks to Oliver Mansfield.)
The other thing I want to mention about breathing is that it’s an important part of healing. I’ve witnessed and experienced the power of breathing during coaching sessions. Typically, when I’m talking about something that needs to heal, I get physically tense and restrict my breathing. My coach and mentor, Jamie Smart always reminds me, breathe, as in with actual air, with your lungs, in and out. It’s amazing that when you breathe your system settles and you allow yourself to experience whatever your body/system is trying to experience. Once you’ve experienced it, it’s over and quite often whatever that was is healed or shifted in a way that it’s no longer a problem or unresolved.

I never realized that breathing can be used as a tool to create the conditions for healing, to settle your body and mind and to find clarity.

Whenever I’m feeling stressed or anxious I remind myself to breathe, and wonderful things happen. Give it a try.

6. Sleep.

I’ve loved sleeping my whole life. Growing up I was a night owl and had trouble getting up in the morning. In kindergarten I had to take the afternoon class, and in university I only made about 50% of my 10am or earlier classes. Getting up in the morning wasn’t for me. Then when I graduated, my first real job was at a meat plant, and I had to be at my desk at 4:30am. I only worked there for 10 months but it cured me of my night owl tendencies. The rest of my working life I was generally up around 6:00-6:30am.

In 2010, I was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea. Back then, everyday around 2pm I’d have a sudden drop in energy and felt like I was hit by a truck. The first night I got my CPAP I didn’t like it and only used it for about an hour. The second night I used it the entire night and the next day I was a new man. I’ve used my CPAP every night since. I’m one of the few that really don’t mind wearing it and I’ve never really had an issue with it. I still wear it now, but I can see a day on the horizon with my current trajectory that my need for it may be coming to an end. Until then, I’m happy I have it.

Working from my new vision for my life, another big change for me is that I go to bed early. Most nights I’m winding down starting around 9pm and I’m in bed and well on my way to sleeping no later than 10pm. Prior to working with Oli, my bedtime was typically between 11pm and midnight, with most nights being on the later end of the spectrum.

I recently read Dr Haley Wickenheiser’s book, Over the Boards. She has a chapter called “Rest is a Weapon.” I love this idea.
Our bodies need time to heal, recover and regenerate. The combination of fasting and going to bed early and getting a full night’s rest has played a huge roll in regaining my health.
I think I instinctively knew that burning the candle at both ends for most of my adult life wasn’t a good idea, but I did it anyway. Like a lot of my past behaviors and habits, they weren’t good for me, but they made sense to do, so I did them. Now, they no longer make sense and I’ve started doing things that are better aligned with my health and well-being.
If you’ve made it through all 7 of my posts, you’ll know that this has been quite a transformation for me. I’d summarize it all like this: Love yourself. Get in touch with a bigger vision for your life and understand how your experience is created and who you really are. Eat well and use fasting. Move your body, hydrate, breath, and get plenty of sleep.

This is what’s been working for me and I’m happy to share my story with you.
One final shoutout to Oliver Mansfield for his support.